When I quit this mortal shore And mosey 'round this earth no more, Do not weep and do not sob; I may have found a better job. Don't go and buy a large bouquet For which you'll find it hard to pay, Don't mope around and feel all blue; I may be better off than you.
Don't tell the folks I was a saint Or any old thing that I ain't. If you have jam like that to spread, Please hand it out before I'm dead. If you have roses bless your soul, Just pin one in my buttonhole While I'm alive and well today; Don't wait until I'm gone away.